26 September 2014

The Disheartening and Ennobling Paradox of Grief


'And ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation'
~ The Prophet ~

A few of my posts have been tributes and remembrances of public figures/celebrities from the political, literary and  entertainment fields as well as the  tragic and unexpected deaths of young people by rogue cops or misguided gang members. There have, also, been those who've chosen to discontinue this journey by reasons only God and they knew at that time.  With the exception of the tributes to my parents; most of these posts have been about folks whom I didn't know personally but respected and admired for their talents and humanitarian endeavors.   

I, now, find myself again addressing personal grief with the transition of my niece, Thema  from complications associated with  Myasthenia gravis disease which is incurable.  She was valiant for a number of years in fighting this disorder and one never got the impression that she felt sorry for her predicament.  It was a debilitating process and she became weaker towards the end and worried about leaving her young children without their mother. Although, I didn't see her the past couple of years; I kept up with her on social media and was in a prayerful mode for an extended period.  It was my hope that she would again experience a period when the symptoms were less dramatic with a more acceptable level of functioning. 

As we grieve her passing; she inspired us with how she became more philosophic and caring for others as well as her children under the most trying circumstances.  Thus the feelings of sadness and despair as I think about the family's loss, yet, empowered by how honorably she handled this adversity.  A role model...if you will....on facing and living with a chronic medical condition and a daunting prognosis for many stricken by this disease.  

There will be a celebration of her life (35 years) Sunday, September 28th and there will be songs of praise and recollections of the good times and what she meant to others, however, I can't help but think of a quote on grief by the late Maya Angelou. It was her response to the age old question; 'Death where is thy sting'?  She asserts that "It is here in my heart and mind and memories". 

Dear Thema, May God Bless and keep your soul.

8 comments:

Deb said...

Hello my dear Sister, my deepest condolences for your loss. As I read your post, all I could think of was this poem I found in a newspaper after my mother died that I cut out and put on my fridge. It's been 18 years; the paper is old and yellowing, but I keep it, because it's beautiful and so very true for my soul and because I want it read at my own "Celebration of Life" when the time comes! From my heart sister-friend...

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow. 

I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain. 

I am the gentle autumn rain. 

When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight. 

I am the soft stars that shine at night. 

Do not stand at my grave and cry; 

I am not there. I did not die.


Peace and blessings...

Carolyn Moon said...

Sis Deb, your wonderful words of comfort are so appreciated. The poem that has sustained you after the loss of your mother is a reminder to me that it isn't completely over & perspective is the key to peace. I must confess that the overwhelming grief many of us experience is the absence of the body, the touch, smile, kiss and hug as well as the gifts and talents of our physical being.

You were so on time with this encouragement...Thank you so much!

Deb said...

You're so very welcome Sis! Feel your beautiful Thelma in the winds, sunlight, rain, birds and stars everyday that you experience them -- she's there, comforting you, always. Keep your head up. I promise you Dear Heart, you'll feel her...

Deb said...

Sis Carolyn,
Just wanted to check in on you. Hope you're as well as can be expected Dear Heart.

Peace...

Carolyn Moon said...

Sis Deb, I so appreciate your concern.( ⌣́,⌣̀)\(^◡^ )
It will be on my mind for some time and I am sure of that, however, as you so eloquently stated; she's "in the winds, sunlight, rain, birds and stars everyday that you experience them -- she's there, comforting you".

Peace and bountiful blessings to you.

Deb said...

Sis, you're very welcome and thank you! I'm glad I could offer some solace.

Blessings...

mary burrell said...

Sorry for your loss. Peace and Blessings

Carolyn Moon said...

@Mary Burrell: Your kind words are appreciated. Peace and blessings to you as well!

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