This is a brief commentary on the merits of exposing via print and finally televising missing African-Americans and other minorities in this country (see above trailer) on a consistent basis. For months now, I've featured The Black and Missing Foundationlink on my sidebar whose mission is 'to provide an equal opportunity for ALL missing.' This is a non-profit organization which has about the most informative website that I've viewed with photos and a synopsis of the missing across the nation and the format is user friendly. They feature closed cases and provide updates of those cases that have been solved.
It's no secret that the mainstream media is quite selective in how they determine those cases worthy of exposure and it's also quite evident that those who look like an Elizabeth Smart or a Caylee Anthony are recognized more than a 'LaShonda' or a 'DeMarcus.' With that said, in all fairness, Nancy Grace's program has featured in the past--some children and adults of color. The gravity of the situation, however, requires expanded coverage and viewership.
Photo Credit: 2012 Getty Images
In steps--S. Epatha Merkerson, host of TV One's 'Find Our Missing',a weekly series with enactments and the story behind the missing persons featured for that episode. What will be shocking for many viewers is this pattern of lackadaisical responses by local police when these cases are reported. The small window of time that we hear about constantly-- is very important in missing person cases and is virtually ignored by many precincts. As a consequence, an exceptional number of missing person cases in many of our communities are closed. This fact and other exclusionary tactics by mainstream media became painfully clear when 'The View'had Chris Cuomo and S. Epatha Merkerson on to discuss this issue and the program she's hosting.
This is overdue, yet, it's here and it behooves all of us to watch and support this effort to pick up the slack on reporting and becoming more conscientious about the missing and their families. I was quite taken at the end of one segment when Ayanna Patterson the mother of Alexis Patterson, age 7 who went missing in 2002 hugged Ms. Merkerson after she spoke of the anguish over the circumstances of her daughter's unsolved case . The manner of her embrace reminded me of the spirit and meaning of 'Holding On.' At last, Mrs. Patterson and other families of the missing are being heard and their resolve to not give up and to hold on until they've had some resolution has warranted wide scale recognition.
In my "hiatus" post of 8/20/11, I briefly touched on aging citing a poem--There Is A Girl Inside by one of my favorite poets, Lucille Clifton. This sense of a waning persona and not being noticed nor heard are addressed from time to time by poets and writers. When the subject of aging surfaces--baby boomers (my group) comes to mind and for the most part they have lived up to that verse by Dylan Thomas. "Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rage at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light."
Ms. Clifton also makesthat point quite clear as follows. She is a green tree in a forest of kindling. She is a green girl in a used poet. She has waited patiently as a nun for the second coming; when she can break through gray hairs into blossom.
Many of us find that although there are varying physical and cognitive changes; the spirit and emotional aspects of our lives remain youthful and very much in the present. Memories especially the happy ones serve to reinforce the latter.
I find that the above images displayed out of context could mean so many things to the reader. A beaming senior couple snuggling. The very attractive older woman with a pleasant smile may be a career person with an active lifestyle and folks who love and care about her. A handsome gent thinking of something/someone in a prayerful mode or just giving thanks for a relatively contented life. These are the more positive scenarios and are realities for quite a few seniorcitizens, however, there is another side that I'd like to address as well. The adage--aging is not for thefaint of heart; rings true for many of us. We come up with humorous self-denigrating witticisms about the process, yet, it can become disconcerting and for many a very lonely experience.
I would say for the past year or so I've been thinking quite a bit about seniors and their varied relationships. In my practice, I've noticed a number of them presenting with relationship issues either as a single person or within a marriage or as a member of the divorced or widowed group. What has surprised me more is the loneliness expressed in all four of the above scenarios. The quality of a relationship is more to the point rather than just having someone in your life. It's been written that some of the loneliest people are the ones in long term marriages or relationships which should give the others pause when they express the need to just have someone or anyone in their life.
Those single occupied homes, apartments, assisted living arrangements and basements or attachments to their offspring's home may not be as unfortunate as one may think. Les Brown, a motivational speaker told his audience at one gathering that people stay in toxic or emotionally distant relationships due to their fear of dying alone. He advised that there is one person per box which elicited a nervous laughter from the audience. To take that a step further, death is the final curtain, however, it's the processof dying that folks find frightening and the need for TLC until the end. This is a driving dynamic with tentacles that trap the heart and the soul. We must try to understand it and find better solutions to neutralize it or make it of little or no consequence.
There are numerous articles, senior citizen groups, religious organizations and professionals who assert that one can age gracefully and their options/solutions are encouraged. The downside of this approach is that those who are compromised by happenstance of varied proportions begin to sink more into depression/anxiety if those options seem unattainable. What they see and experience is someone who moves slower, forgets more often,becomes more obsessed with personal hygiene issues or lack thereof and interprets harmless or elusive glances as an assessment of their appearance and worth. The low end of the paranoia continuum...maybe...yet,the larger society does not celebrate the aging process at all. This alone has given rise to a number of women and a few men who walk around with these facial affects that are stunning and probably lend to the elusive glances or eye avoidance they dread.
However, those of us who are in late fall or early winter of our lives must recognize that we age differently and some are more "successful" at it than others. Most of my links are geared towards the latter. For those who become reclusive as a means of coping with some of the more unpleasant aspects of the aging process; take heart. It's not the end and it's not too late to try and engage more. You must use the memories of your vibrant and more "productive" years as stepping blocks to another level of existence. The baby boomers have re-energized many senior citizen clubs or organizations. The Gray Panthers and AARP are just a few of many who are on the case--offering a number of options as well as advocacy tracts. Remember that the quality of future relationships is more important than just having someone share a space with you. The key is to begin the process. The vocalist extraordinaire, Randy Crawford got it right when she expressed in her mellifluous voice that it only takes "One Hello".
The President has taken another stand in opposition to the party of "no". I must say I'm quite impressed with his decision to reject the construction of the Keystone XL Pipeline from Canada to the refineries in Texas.There are definitely serious concerns that will override the overly optimistic projected 20,000 new jobs the completion of this pipeline will afford Americans. Of late,I must say,his usual conciliatory stances or for some capitulation on some of the issues that progressives championed have turned 180°.
Photo Credit: Andrew Harris-Getty Images
I might also add that the majority of those jobs will be temporary and the workers will no longer be needed once the two year project is completed. This "toxic sludge" will travel through many states crossing at least 70 rivers/streams. Nebraska is definitely against it for a contamination of the Ogallala Aquifer which provides water to a substantial area of that state would be catastrophic. It has been reported that the existing pipeline has had approximately 12 leakages in just one year of operation. I've provided links to the pros and cons of the pipeline and you have reputable agencies and scientists who have grave concerns about completing this project. I will of course, leave it up to the reader to decide how much of a risk we should take for the temporary provision of jobs. We all remember those oil spills in the gulf region and I believe a mishap associated with this pipeline can be devastating with implications for future generations that are daunting. For now the President is putting a halt to it but expect the Republicans to use this as a political sledgehammer to score points and stoke the resolve of those who want to make him a one-termer.
I began this post praising the President for "standing up" to his detractors and opponents in a substantive way re: the pipeline, however, he's been fearless in other areas that are of critical concern to the middle class and poor. He's taking a no nonsense approach to fixing our economy and reducing unemployment despite a recalcitrant Republican base and congress. There will be no cuts on spending without an increase in taxes on the wealthy and corporations and he's going to use his ace in the hole (if necessary) which is the power to veto. Social Security cuts, changing medicare eligibility from 65 to 67 are off the table. He's also, pushing equity with the tax code which will allow the wealthy to share the nation's tax burden.
There are many other achievements of this administration which are unheralded, yet, listed on many blog sites. One in particular is Jack & Jill Politics. They published a 4 part exhaustive series on President Obama's 244 Accomplishments. I recommend that you read it when you get a chance.
Many of us and I'm included in this saw what we wanted to see and had expectations that may not have been realistic, however, I will continue to support this President. The critical nature of the office has aged many who have taken on this task. When they are candidates--their proposals and goals are so idealistic and many are challenged in a myriad of ways once they've move into the White House. The dynamics of privileged information unavailable to them as candidates on a domestic and global scale are revealed as well as the issues they ran on. The true character, intelligence and resolve of the individual are tested for the next 4 or 8 years. Some political and policy missteps not withstanding; I think his overall performance has been above average in spite of the continual opposition and excruciating problems he's faced since taking office.
As I ponder this phase of my life, the masks of tragedy and comedy come to mind. At this point, it's actually the most convenient and halfhearted attempt to describe my current predicament. My retirement!
Briefly, the origin of the comedy tragedy masks is traced back to the culture of the Greek theater and has held its own over the centuries. The concept of the duality of extreme emotions is just as relevant today as it was in ancient times. Can the twin faces of joy and sorrow co-exist or is it a continuum or both? After all, this theater...stage if you will...called life with all its drama, pitfalls, high points and good times; runs the gamut. The cast can be supportive, antagonistic or merely backdrops to the key actor(s) or actress(es). So far, you have the well wishers, the hmm.. folks and the ones that I'm feeling a close affinity to at this point. The one representative statement from the latter group that rings true to me and I quote..."so sad! so glad! so ambivalent!".
The actress on this stage is moi and frankly I'm puzzled by the duality of these extreme feelings about a perfectly common rite of passage for many of us. One that I've made recommendations about on a professional basis and as a friend or family member.
**There aretypes of retirement--early-forced-planned and miscellaneous stuff which means that it's none of our business. I'm sure there are emotional tags that accompany them, yet, as one whom for the most part has a handle on these kind of things--it's been a daunting and revelatory experience. A process that I must endure or celebrate depending on my frame of mind at the time. I must reconcile all the facets and dynamics with the goal of a peaceful resolution to"life's third act".
I won't belabor this, however, in a future post, I'll revisit and let you know how well I've done with the dual masks of sorrow and joy which to me is an expression of ambivalence. The latter is one that we aren't comfortable with for somehow it represents a lack of cohesiveness towards a person, thing or event or within ourselves. It's a pull in opposite directions and the last thing we want interfering with our joy and happiness is sorrow or pain. Therefore, one of my other tasks for the "third act" is to decide how I choose to respond to what is causing that ambivalence for another aspect of my goal should be to transform those disparate pieces to a state of wholeness!
